The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
