Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
