you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
