i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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