glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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