YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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