Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
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Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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