1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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