I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
