sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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