He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
