how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
