We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
