Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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