u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
