Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
