just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
