My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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