So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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