Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?