Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
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I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.