ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?