is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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