just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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