I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
