Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize