Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
