Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
