Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
