Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
