I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
