come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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