She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
