why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
