i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
