I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
