I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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