My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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