I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
These tits shall not be calmed
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
