He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
