the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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