I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
