you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
