My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
NoShamevember. You game?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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