I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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