All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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