i think my tv is drunk
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
4 words: hood of his car
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
