Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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