How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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