i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
