your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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