Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
