An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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