Do you still have your period?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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