We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
