i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
