Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
