Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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