I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
