He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
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Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
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Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
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