Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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