When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize