the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
