I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
