I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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