Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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