I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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