we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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