if i can run in heels then i can drive
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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