Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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