Only a mothe r could love this liver
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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